Happy Valentine’s Day

This will be special.

A few years ago, I swore never to write about this topic, because I learnt that nothing lasts forever (or rather, a few months) in a relationship. Everyone I’ve dated had proved to me that feelings and effort only lasts as long till they’ve wooed you. Then effort and any sense of romanticism ends completely because (so it seems,) the hardest and most ‘crucial’ part is done.

Also, effort is effort. And it becomes tiring to keep up after a while, amirite?

 

For someone who grew up watching my grandparents stay so in love with each other all these years, I had my expectations. (My grandparents are both in their eighties, and my grandad is paralysed from the waist down. My grandmother takes care of him every single day, day in and day out. My grandad constantly tells everyone how he wouldn’t still be alive if it wasn’t for the constant dedicated care from my grandmother.)

For someone who reads books about chivalry and other gentlemany habits, my idea of an ideal (gentle)man was planted early on in my head.

So imagine the wake up call I got when I found out that these gentlemen species are as rare as male calicos. At least here in Malaysia. When I finally came to terms that it would be impractical to expect the fairytale romance I’d always dreamed about, I began to compromise on my values.

It’s no surprise then, that I was compromised. To put it simply, I discounted my worth; therefore, I never got my full price.

 

Although, of course, I found it hard to confess to the people I had been dating about my ideals. Because obviously, they always told me that I was being unrealistic – that I would never settle down and have a family if I were that choosy.

I began to understand that there’s no point in writing love declarations, because the nice, romantic gestures almost always came to an end; sometimes as early on as only a month into the relationship.

I still dreamed, though.

Oh how I would dream.

 

You know how they say that things tend to happen to you when you least expect it? I did believe in it. Only my version had been: things never turn up when you’re looking for them, but they tend to turn up when you aren’t. (Because finding things my room had always been similar to ‘hidden object’ games.)

 

When I first laid eyes on him, it wasn’t exactly the cliched love-at-first-sight. I acknowledged that he was attractive, but I never thought of a possibility further than friends. I had come to terms that attractive guys just don’t tend to fall for me. And if ever one shows interest, he’s just probably looking for someone to fuck. (Pardon the language ayy?)

By the end of the night, we kissed and it was then that I felt something. I was still, however, grounded and painfully aware that such good fortune never usually lasts long for me.

 

But this man proved me wrong in the best way possible.

 

For the first time, I had someone who put in effort into us; to making us work. This was the furthest long distance relationship I’d ever had, yet he had been the one who made the most effort.

It wasn’t a bed of roses, obviously. There were lots (and I mean LOTS) of tears on my part. There were days where I would be so emotionally drained where even food lost its appeal completely. (And for someone who LOVES her food, this is serious business.) The longest had been an entire week where not a day went by without me crying because I had been so afraid that he might have just thought of me as a side chick after all, and would go back to the girl back home and ignore me completely/only look for me when he’s lonely.

I was terrified of how quickly and hard I was falling for him, as I’m normally very cautious. I hated that I was worrying the 2 most important people in the world to me: my mum, & my best friend Ann. (Ann has the superpower ability to detect when something’s wrong with me in even the slightest difference in my texts, that woman.)

I made sure that he knew I was serious about us. I told him that I would go to the end of the world and back to make us work, but that I would only do it if he was willing to, too; because I didn’t want to be the one making the effort yet again, only to be disappointed again.

I kept telling him to tell me early if he fell out with me instead of leading me on, so I could lick my wounds and get over it while it was still early.

But he proved me wrong yet again.

As someone with anxiety, all that emotional toil made things 10x as worse. I was always wondering. I was always anxious at the slightest thing, and tended to overthink every small detail. (Just ask the people I’m closest to.) I always wondered, how long before the usual ‘symptoms’ would appear?

Amidst all my inner turnoil, he did something miraculous in me that I’d never thought would ever happen: he made me trust again.

It was a HUGE deal to me. Trust is a fragile thing, and I never really fully trusted people in general due to experience.

And as if that was not enough, he unconsciously made me better myself whenever I was with him. He made me a better person, and for that I’ll be forever grateful.

It has been a little over 2 years, and the things that have changed, have changed for the better.

He still hugs me to sleep every night (and it’s something I won’t turn away from, no matter how hot the weather is). He surprises me with flowers now and again, just because. I still get the same butterflies whenever we kiss. Seeing him after a length of time apart still makes me nervous, and the sight of him still makes my heart do somersaults.

So thank you for everything, my love. Thank you for bringing out the best in me, and loving me even when I’m being difficult. You mean the world to me. ❤️❤️

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Why I Drifted from Kpop.

I remember when I was 18, my then-boyfriend introduced me to Winter Sonata. And it was safe to say that I got hooked after the first few episodes. I even bought the DVD set, watched the entire thing, and weeped my eyes out. It felt good to let it out and cry.

Little did I know that that would be the start of my Hallyu addiction.

To be honest, after Winter Sonata, I had turned to the Jpop scene, and took an interest to Arashi; Matsujun (or Matsumoto Jun, his full name) in particular. I watched the full season of Gokusen and shipped Shin & Yankumi to death. Also adding to my glee, I had also found out that Isaka Tatsuya (Ichigo from the Bleach Rock Musical series, which I also happened to be addicted to) had a role in about 2 episodes.

It wasn’t until about a year or so after the Winter Sonata incident that I actually came to get addicted to Kpop, and the group that got me addicted was in fact 동방신기, aka DBSK, aka TVXQ. And I was torn in between my love for Yoochun and Yunho. 😂😁

From there, I started getting to know more Kpop bands, and started becoming a (hardcore) fan of Super Junior (seeing as DBSK & Super Junior regularly starred in tv shows together), and then 2PM (Taecyeon my bby ❤️), whom I liked the longest. (I was even fortunate enough to go to their concert 5 years ago!)

Back then when I started getting into Kpop, it was not very recognised in Malaysia yet. Paraphenilia were very hard to come by. So understandably, whenever I came across someone who liked it as well, I got excited.

I admit I was a hardcore Kpop fan; I even taught myself basic Korean so I could understand them better and, possibly, be able to carry a conversation in Korean if I ever came across one. My family couldn’t understand my love for them, but they never got in the way.

And then the Hallyu wave/Kpop fever started creeping into Malaysia. It became more recognised, and CDs and such became more easily accessible.

It was also then, within about 2 years, that I started to drift away from Kpop completely.

Why?

As the Kpop/Hallyu sensation blew up, I realised that more and more young girls were starting to act cute even more ( trying to follow the aegyo trend), and all the screamings of “OMO!“, “eotteoke?!” and “OPPAAAAA SARANGHAE!!” got a bit too much for me.

Saying it like that is putting it lightly, in fact. Rather, it got on my nerves. Every single time, at every single concert/fanmeet, those few words will be what the fans would scream. The same damn words over and over and over again, to the point where they even used those words in their daily conversations. Now, if they had used some other words in their mix, that would be fine. But it’s always that three. Always. An ‘omo’ here and an ‘eottoke’ there. It was getting like those chinese girls changing the word ‘cute’ to ‘kawaii’ every fucking time. (Sorry, but a major of them are in fact, young chinese girls.)

One of the reasons I liked Kpop was also for their powerful dances. I realised I never much liked the (in girl groups’ cases) cutesy, trying-to-act-cute groups, rather, I would go for groups like 2NE1 & Brown Eyed Girls, who, although have some ‘sexy’ elements in their dances (they ALL do), are more about their high-energy, powerful dances. Those, I admire.

Now, everywhere I go, I see young teenaged girls getting googly eyed at Kpop stars and spouting those common korean exclamations in their conversations. It’s irritating to the point where all Kpop fans are stereotyped as that.

And then there’s the chinese guys that want to be as ‘cool’ as the koreans, some even attempting to follow their style (and failing horribly, might I add), and feminity. Only it makes them look more like ah bengs and lalas more than anything.

Do I miss Kpop? Of course I do. I miss fangirling over Taecyeon and 2PM, and feeling proud whenever I get their puns or play of words. But I don’t call myself a ‘fan’ per se. Because whenever I say I am, people immediately categorize me into the screaming, sexy/cutesy-wannabe.

I still love my boys, and probably always will. Maybe one day I’ll start listening to Kpop again. Who knows? But at the moment I can’t listen to them without feeling like I’m part of those wannabes, and to be very honest, that makes me feel disgusted of myself.

If ever 2PM were to come to Malaysia again, I definitely wouldn’t rule out going though. Just for a chance to maybe get to see them up close or take a picture with them.

Just for my babies. 😅

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Hey Y’all.

My laptop seems to be going easier on me these days, so I’ll leave y’all with some updates that have been happening:

 

  1. MY BEST FRIEND OF 19 YEARS GOT MARRIED! (And she looked gorgeous.) Yes, we literally did everything together, and the fact that she’s now wife reminds me of just how old I’m getting.  :-(

2. I’ll be honest. Throughout my years, the longest I’ve worked is at the local newspaper (The Star), and that was part time (I’ve been with them for a total of almost 10 years.. and counting). I’ve worked full-time at a good few places; but I’ve never lasted a year (usually around 5-6 months, the longest so far being 11 months) because I was always overworked and underappreciated, or made to feel inferior due to my ‘rookie’ status in the company. So I’m extremely lucky to have an understanding and sporting boss this time around, who had leadership qualities that the bosses from my previous companies never had (again, except Star). Sure, there’s still that early morning dread, and there are times where I feel so stressed that it’s not even funny, but at least I’ll receive help. And that’s the most important thing in a working environment: working together.

 

WELL, now that wasn’t a very long list now was it? 

 

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Hi.

Yeah, hey.

Just letting everyone know that I’m not dead… nor is my blog. It’s just that my laptop is ‘unwell’, so to speak. I’ve been constantly having the ‘Blue Screen of Death’ and my laptop freezes on me several times a day. So it’s a turn off really to do anything ongoing that requires quite some time on my laptop; because I have no idea when it’s going to freeze on me.

And getting a new laptop isn’t particularly high on my priority list financially at the moment; because I can’t afford it, and would much rather spend the money that I do have on things that I need. Right now, I can do most stuff that requires an internet connection on my iPhone, so a laptop isn’t quite a necessity. Unless, of course, someone offers to buy me a new one. xD I have no objections to that! =p

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What a book taught me.

I have just recently finished The Charm Bracelet by Melissa Hill. It’s funny because I just decided on that book by impulse at first as my holiday read, but when I went through my other books and found another possible holiday read (a Nicholas Sparks’ piece), I debated for the longest time about which to pick. But I was somehow pulled to The Charm Bracelet for some reason.

It was addictive, and I found myself reading it faster than I thought I would. I had to refrain from reading it too quickly for fear of finishing it and having no other reading material on holiday. But I couldn’t help but realise the message that the book may be telling me. I should also probably mention that I believe in fate.

Let’s start from the beginning of why I thought that this story was telling me something, shall we?

 

I have always been a person who wanted fast results: be it in health or relationships. If I exercised, I wanted to see at least a bit of results within a week. If I took some medication, I expected to feel a difference in the equal amount of time. If I don’t feel/see a difference, I’d take it as it doesn’t work for me.  In relationships, I want the guy to know off the bat that I’m what he wants and that he chooses me. If he needs time to work it out, I’d think that he wasn’t serious with me and just saw me as something to ‘occupy his time’. Maybe I’ve read too many novels, and have been planted with the idea of a typical ‘ideal relationship’; where the guy falls head-over-heels in love with the girl and does all he can to keep her and assure her of his love. He shows her all the time what she means to him, and showers her with love.

While I am patient with a good number of things, I admit that these are the few things that I can get impatient with. Maybe because health-wise, it takes such a short amount for me to put on weight or to get out of shape. Relationship-wise, I tend to fall fast and hard. I haven’t had the best of luck in relationships either, (I always say I have men repellant) so naturally when I come across a good catch, I’d want to cement things and expect the same treatment from the guy years on in our relationship as when he first wanted to ‘catch’ me.

And I’ll admit that I’m also the kind of person who craves attention from a boyfriend. I’d want him to send texts throughout the day and/or call me when we’re not together. I don’t need presents and shits but I do need to know that I’m on his mind as much as he’s on mine, because otherwise, I’d feel like, once again, I’m the one doing all the ‘making-things-work’ shit.  photo 0024510006.gif

 

Now for the part where the book taught me something. ( I can literally see you guys sighing in relief, like ‘FINALLY!’)

For the next 4 paragraphs, there will be SPOILERS to the book. If you haven’t read it yet or don’t want to know what happens, skip them.

 

Nick and Holly are, as I’d put it, estranged. I think it’s safe to say that they they hate each other. Nick didn’t even want anything to do with their son Danny. But the thing is, when they were dating, everything was peachy. Sure, in the book, you could see the little warning signs, but I think we would all forgive Holly for ignoring it as we all would probably have too if we were the ones in her shoes.

What I’m saying is that they were both madly in love with each other from the off. They found each other irresistible. Nick did things to make Holly swoon and Holly drove Nick equally crazy.

Basically what happened is the opposite of what should happen. They went from being madly in love with each other to not being able to stand each other. And it got me thinking.

Maybe that’s the reason why relationships have never worked for me. Because I expect everything to be all peachy and lovey-dovey quickly, and stay that way for many years to come. I should realise that when something goes one way real fast, it probably would go the other way just as fast too.  photo 0024510016.gif

I can say that my current relationship is taking the longest to unfurl. Not in the sense you’re probably thinking about; rather, it’s taking time for him to actually warm up to me emotionally. And I admit that I’ve been quite impatient about it at first because, as I said, I’m the kind that wants results fast.

But as I’m finding out, things are unfurling slowly, but surely. Sure, the future is still uncertain, (though if it was up to me, I’d want to seal it, if you get what I mean) but I’m learning that sometimes, as much as I want immediate results, I have to be patient and let things unfold at their own time.

Everything happens for a reason, and they happen for a purpose; to make me grow. I’m not religious by any means, but I do believe that the Big Man up there has a plan for me. The Charm Bracelet has taught me that having things happen gradually instead of being all wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am may not be a bad thing after all.  photo 0024510015.gif

After all, don’t they say that the best things are worth waiting for?  photo 0024510018.gif

 

P/S: You can read my review of The Charm Breacelet here.

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Thanksgiving 2015. ^^

So.. Let me start off this year’s Thanksgiving with my usual post about things/people I’m grateful for:

(As always, my past Thanksgiving posts are linked here: 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014)

 1. As always, first will always be family. It is because of them that I have all the support I need. My mum has made me into the polite, considerate woman that I am today. My dad has shown me what Asian love is. (For the people who don’t know what that is, it means showing your ‘love’ not by saying ‘I love yous’ or through hugs or any such Western signs of affection; my dad shows it by buying us stuff, his occasional jokes, and through his helpfulness. Love you daddy. eeee ) My sister… well, she taught me how to handle insults. Lol. Also, she’s excellent comic relief. xD Also… I guess Ivan deserves a mention too. Thanks for teaching me patience by constantly pushing mine, you annoying bugger. =p

 

 

2. Second will also always be my sister-from-another-mister, my best friend, Ann. Throughout my life, she has been the only one not to judge me at all.  Regardless of what she hears about me, she firmly believes me based on what she knows to be true about me and does not succumb to backstabbing. That’s extremely rare in people nowadays, who are all about profiting/benefitting themselves, that they’d do anything (and I mean anything) to get there. Thank you babe, for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself, and for always having my back. *love*

 

 

3.My grandfather! I thank God every day that although he can no longer walk and is hard of hearing, he still remains the funny, amazing grandfather that I’ve always known, and in that sense, he’s never changed. ^^

 

4. My silly little gorgeous bugger. *love*  Words can’t describe how much you mean to me. wheee

 

And finally,

5. Life, in general. It hasn’t been easy, let me tell you that. I’ve had to make decisions that broke me, left things that I hadn’t wanted to, and hurt so much that I cried till my eyes were swollen beyond sight. But as they say, everything happens for a reason, and although I’m not religious, I know that whatever higher being up there isn’t blind to my tears. I haven’t figured out the reason behind all of the happenings, but I trust that I will.

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Phuket

I haven’t written a post like this in a good long while, but I figured that I’d start again as a way of ‘officiating’ (yet another) new subdomain. Yes, I can hear you groan. But trust me, I don’t like having to change everything (feeds, broken links, pages etc) all over again any more than you guys do.

And I really hope that this would be the last time, ever, that I have to.

 

Day 1: Saturday, 10 Oct

  •  Took the 2.30pm bus to KL. Bus only left at almost 3pm (‘Malaysian time’, as usual). Arrived around 6pm, and we were worried that we might not be able to make our flight at 8.40. We took a taxi to KL Sentral, and then took the express train to KLIA2 (which took 33mins).
  • I hadn’t been to KLIA2 since it opened (then again I rarely fly, so…), but I had no time to marvel in it as we were in a hurry. Long story short, we managed to operate Air Asia’s self check-in machine, printed out our flight tickets, and went through customs and check and everything.
    Oh, and my wee shampoo bottle and body wash got confiscated because it was over the appropriate weight. It wasn’t even that big hmph. 
  • After that we had about an hour to spare, so Stewart went to the Lounge to get a few beers. May I remind you that I hadn’t been to any airport’s lounge ever, so let’s just say I got a bit excited when I found out that all the pastries, instant noodles, salads, coffees/teas, and cookies were all free. Of course, you had to pay a fee to get in the lounge, but I thought Lounges were ‘first class’ things where you paid to get in, and then you had to pay for whatever food/drinks you ordered as well; which why I had originally thought that the guys had been rich madafakas.
    Next thing I know, it was the final call for our plane’s boarding. And I had just took an instant noodle as well. Poured the hot water, had to wait 3 mins. As I put the cup down, I notice it was the last call. So much for having instant noodles. Wasted. Oh well. ==
  • We arrived Phuket at about almost 10pm, Malaysian time. I also never knew that Thailand’s GMT was an hour before Malaysia. At customs, I went through this stern looking Thai fella (dude I know you’re tired, but to be fair we had a long day too =p ). He never smiled, but then after he was done stamping my passport, I smiled at him and thanked him in Thai (ขอบคุณ – kòp kun ka). Then he did the unbelievable. He smiled, and replied back with what I guessed was a ‘welcome’. I felt good. I cracked a smile from that bugger!
  • Then we took a taxi to our hotel (Kalima Resort & Spa), but it was dark and we were tired, so I don’t think we paid much attention. However, it was hard to ignore the taxi driver’s driving skills, when the entire 45mins from the airport to the hotel was filled with short sprints and jerks from braking. What I did notice with clarity, despite the darkness though, was that Thai people had big cars. There were no such Kancil or MyVi-looking little cars. They either had motorbikes, or big cars like Toyotas and Hondas. There were no in-betweens. =O Also, the taxi smelled of bananas. I kid you not. 
  • When we reached the hotel, we were greeted with a welcome tea at the lobby during check-in. The tea was cold and really welcoming in the humid weather. (Yes, I live in Malaysia but I swear my sweat glands are imported from some cold European country; I’ve lived here all my life and yet I sweat way more than my boyfriend does. =l ) Then a bellboy helped take our bags to our room, and it was the first time (that I’m aware of, that is) in which it was customary to tip the bellboy. Good thing Stewart was, I presumed, used to it,and took his wallet for some tips. Otherwise, it would’ve been awkward, because after showing us the room, he bowed and said probably something like ‘enjoy your stay’, and then he just stood there. Imagine if, like in Malaysia, we weren’t usually accustomed to tipping bellboys. We’d probably be wondering why he was still standing there. =p No wonder; I had just been thinking about how the bellboy had been exceptionally welcoming and helpful. I thought it was just because Kalima had been a rather grand hotel (probably that too); rupanya because he would be tipped. lol
  • The room looked very nice. One of the nicest hotels I’ve been to, I daresay.(yes, please excuse the mess.)
  • After a good shower and showing my mum around the room (as she has a fascination with hotel rooms/bathrooms/showers), Stewart suggested going out to explore, and at the same time, get something to eat. I won’t lie; food + me =  ♥.  He asked the taxi driver if there’s a bar nearby, and the taxi river asked, “You want loud crazy bars or calm quiet bar?”
    Guess which one he chose? Yup, the crazy.
    So the taxi took us to Bangla Road, where he reminded us a few times to be careful of pickpockets and Ladyboys who pretend to come up to you and then snag your wallet. Bangla Road was indeed crazy. Ladyboys everywhere, and people were literally shoving their menus in front of you and asking you to come. Literally. They would come up right in front of you so you’d have to at least stall for a while. Of course, some bars offered ‘entertainment’ as well, if you get my drift. We didn’t walk around for very long because it was late, but we did manage to have some crepe pancakes. I would also learn in the duration of our stay that they (the crepe pancake stalls) were literally everywhere.

 

Day 2: Sunday, 11 Oct

  • Stewart had asked me to wake him up at 9am to go for breakfast. And honestly, that’s what I always look forward to when staying in a hotel: their buffet breakfast. :-D
    Woke him up which took a while, so I asked if he still wanted to go or breakfast. He said yes, that he wanted to make the most of our trip there and not spend it by lazing around. He could be lazy when we got back.
    So we went to the restaurant and my grin was immediate the moment I saw that they had bacon.  I DON’T GET ENOUGH BACON IN KUANTAN OKAY AND THESE BACONS ARE FREE!  Needless to say I had bacon every morning that we were there. That, and the grilled tomatoes.When we got back to the room, both of us were stuffed, we ate SO MUCH. We had to visit the toilet after. xD
  • After having a shower and resting for a bit, we pored over the Tiger Kingdom flyer that we got from the airport last night. The tigers were divided into: Cub, Smallest, Small, and Big. We decided to take the package, so we could see each of the tigers (except the cub). When he asked me which I wanted, I told him that even going to any one would’ve made me happy.
    We saw the tigers in order of smallest to largest, and I really wanted to sneak one home. The only thing was that the bigger tigers had been a bit snoozy when we were there. No complaints though, as I got to hug the big one and play with the small ones! :-D
  • At the souvenir shop, I bought myself a skirt and shirt. Cost 500-ish baht. Not complaining as I had expected it to cost around 700 baht. The whole place smelled of Tiger Balm too (the irony), and though it wasn’t the usual Tiger Balm you found in stores here in Malaysia (it had like, little wee stone thingies), I found myself quite attracted to the smell. It seemed… calming.
  • After Tiger Kingdom, we went back to Bangla street to walk around. It wasn’t as crazy as nighttime (in fact it was pretty decent). We walked around and had some drinks. Then because it was so hot, we decided to go back to the hotel and swim in the pool.
  • That night, we went out for seafood. We asked the taxi driver where the best seafood in Patong was, and he brought us to Linda Seafood. I tried the Massaman curry and it was actually really good, albeit being quite spicy. There were A LOT of potatoes and onions, and while I love both, I wish they had balanced it out with more meat. (Mmm I’m craving some now == )
  • After that, we went walking around Patong. It became a ‘habit’, in the sense that every day after that, we woke up for breakfast at 9-9.30am, rest for a while after and had a shower, then went out visiting, come home in the evening to shower, go out to have dinner, and then have a wee wonder about. It was also then that I noticed my little ‘crocodile mouth’; my shoes were coming apart at the soles. Either way they were only about 2 inches off the soles, so I guessed that I could still use it for a day or two.

 

Day 3: Tuesday12 Oct

  • Stewart had wanted to go see and feed the elephants, so we had done a little research on the possible places to go after breakfast. Apparently there was one near our hotel, so we went to that one first.
    Truth be told, it was disappointing and sad. The elephants looked sad, and it smelled heavily of… dirty elephants. The animals were chained, and the handlers carried those sticks with the nails at the end. I wasn’t happy, and I found out later that neither was Stewart too.
    We suggested going to another place, quite further along. When we arrived, we realised 2 things: one, that it was in the middle of a road, and two, that it was deserted. I mean that literally. There was no one there, and hardly an animal (hard to miss), if you don’t count the common birds. Finally, we gave up on that.
  • We ended up just asking the taxi driver to drop us off at Patong, and we’d go from there. So that’s how we spent the rest of our day.
    Yes, nothing much to see here. (this part of the post, I mean)

 

 

Day 4: Tuesday13 Oct

  • Today, we would try going to the other elephant sanctuary, visit the snake show, and go to the beach. We spent the entire morning finding for that other elephant sanctuary, as it was a ways away from Patong. When we were just about to abort that plan and just head for the beach instead, the taxi driver finally found it.Cheeky wee bugger that baby elephant was, too.
  • After that, we headed for the Snake show. I love snakes, so I had been pretty excited to get up close and personal with some pretty adorable ones (at least I think so! =p ) If I had been honest with myself, I was kinda hoping they’d have huge ones too. And get up close I did!
    Turns out the snake wranglers were pretty mischievous as well. They had a thing for throwing rubber snakes at unsuspecting ‘victims’, especially if they happen to be engrossed in another wrangler’s explanation. I was quite sure they enjoyed scaring the bejeesus outta people. lolAt the entrance, we were required (for lack of better word) to take photo with this gorgeous Boa snake.“Help meeeee. *sadface* ” xD They were dramatic and hilarious with their shows too. xD If there was one thing I learnt from the show, it was that
    1) If you find yourself face-to-face with a deadly snake, DON’T MOVE. If you don’t move or make any sudden movements, the snake is very unlikely to attack.
    and 2), the snake can’t hear, so while keeping still, feel free to holler as loud as you can/want for help.
    We were also told how long it would take or someone to die if bitten by the different snakes. Still, the wranglers kept assuring us.[bctt tweet=” This snake very dangerous! Bite, within 30 minutes can die! But don’t worry, hospital nearby..” ] lol
  • Next up was the beach. We asked our taxi driver where the best beach was for snorkelling, and ended up at Rawai beach. It was touristy and not much different from our local beach, so we didn’t snorkel at all; just waddled in the water. The sky was pretty dark then, but we figured we were gonna get wet anyways, so meh.
    And rain it did. It didn’t bother us though’ in fact, personally for me, it came as an advantage to help rinse the excessive sand from sticking to my legs due to it being wet.
    After we decided to finally come out of the water, it was slightly after 5, and we decided to go and have a snack. I had that chicken in coconut milk soup thingy (can’t remember the name of that dish for the life of me), and Stewart had a burger, complete with fries. As a snack. lol
    Needless to say, we went back to the hotel to freshen up later than we usually do. Stewart felt like eating at the place near Linda seafood, because they offered cheaper for their lobster than at Linda (we didn’t have lobster there the previous night). The lobster was GOOD, I’ll admit.

 

Day 5: Wednesday14 Oct

  • Today would be our last day in Phuket. *sadface*. We had the Trick Eye Museum planned, but beyond that, we just decided to go with the flow. Turns out the museum was more amusing than I expected too! Even Stewart, whom I could tell hadn’t been a 100% interested in the beginning but either agreed out of having something to do, admitted that it was really nice. I’ve seen some of my friends post pictures on their facebook of them and similar Trick-Eye places, and it felt good to finally be able to do it myself. =p

    Props to me for being creative with my hair hehe.   Anyway, there were a truckload more pics on my facebook that I’m too lazy to include here.
  • Next, we went to the Upside Down house. It wasn’t as interesting as I expected, but we did manage to ‘act’ in this sort of travel video postcard. I won’t post it here because I looked awkward as shit. 
    I will, though, grace you with one picture from the Upside Down House.

 

Day 5: Thursay15 Oct

  • Today is finally the day we were going to check out from our gorgeous hotel in Patong, Phuket, and fly back to Malaysia. I was sad to check out; it felt like I had just gotten used to the hotel there and living life the way we did. But all good things must come to an end, so after breakfast (which I tried eating more of, as if to savour everything there before we left), we packed our stuff, and I took in our hotel room one last time before leaving.
    We checked out, and Stewart decided to go for a swim but I didn’t. (You guys have it so easy, you have no idea… Just put on a pair of bermuda shorts and you’re good to go, and you don’t even have to worry about your hair getting all knotty from chlorine because it’s so short hmph. :-| )
  • When we had to, we left, and our taxi was already waiting for us to send us off to the airport. The journey took shorter than we expected, so we checked in and went to the lounge.
    When we finally reached KLIA2, I felt relieved to finally be in a country where I understood the language again. Stewart pointed out that it was not really much different for him, poor lad. LOL.
  • We had planned to take a bus back to Kuantan from KL, but because of this rude Malay fella from the SP Bumi booth at TDS, we had to take a taxi back to Kuantan that totaled up to RM700. CRAZY! :evil:
    We arrived at about 2am, and Stewart had to be at work in a few hours, otherwise we would have probably spent a night in KL or something.

All in all, our hotel and the view made Phuket a paradise of sorts with us. I tried to include videos in this post, but Photobucket was being a pain in the ass and for some reason couldn’t load the videos I uploaded.

On the other hand… hey hey, it took me almost a month to finish writing this up because I had been lazy and busy. Heh. =p

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IDon’tHaveATitleForThisPostDealWithIt

I… have been doing a lot of thinking recently.

About everything and anything. I want to blog about it, but I have no idea where to start, because it all connects to everything else, one way or another. I don’t think I could start one topic without getting sidetracked because it links to another topic.

Yet, I miss blogging. It was, and will always be, how I express myself best. I was never any good at speaking; my emotions would always get the better of me and I’d end up not being able to form a coherent enough sentence to put what I want to say across.

I guess, in part, it is because as usual, my brain and my heart are suggesting two very different things. (For those reading this, whom at this point think I’m purely talking about my relationship, I applaud you. Goes to show that you know BATSHIT about me. *goes all ghetto and snaps fingers sassily*)

To be honest, I don’t even know what exactly it is that’s troubling me so much. One minute I’m totally fine, and the next I’m thinking about everything in the world and all the what ifs, maybes, whys, hows, whats, wheres, whens and the whole shebang. I want to act like it’s not bothering me at all, and 99.9% of the time, I succeed.

It’s very contradicting; I want to be alone, yet I crave company; and not just ANY company at that. I get picky.

I don’t like it; and I’ve tried to change it. I may have succeeded a little bit, I dunno. But it still bugs me. I think about it every day; it doesn’t take much for my brain to conjure up these things.

Do I need to talk to someone about it? Probably. WILL I talk about it? Probably not. And yes, it’s exactly for the reasons you think it is: I don’t want to sound whiny or needy, (God knows if I’ve already somehow put forth that front unconsciously as it is) and I don’t trust people enough to just confide in any of my friends; I’ve been betrayed of that trust one time too many.

Anyway… yeah. I guess this is just an update of how things have been going for me? I dunno.

Then again, I’m known for overthinking and sweating the small stuff.

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Common Sense, but not Common Practice.

Yes, I admit… I stole that line from Brendon Burchard. xD

 

Anyways as I’m on Facebook so often, I realise that I’ve spouted many inspirations from the stuff in my newsfeed. The recent one is this:

 

 

And that statement, let’s face it, is common knowledge. Unfortunately, it is not often practiced.

More often than not, this happens in the workplace, though I don’t doubt it happens in the household as well.

I’m not implying that people should be praised all the time; that would ruin character. But let’s think back; how many of us crave appreciation? How many times have we tried our hardest at something, only to get a lukewarm ‘okay’ from the superior?

I have been fortunate enough to be able to teach a bunch of kids occasionally in my life, and I find that the above rings true for them as well. Rather, they crave acknowledgement more than appreciation, but they like and treat it the same.

When the people are appreciated for their efforts, they will strive even more to be better and outdo themselves, because it feels good. And let’s face it, it’s human nature to crave acceptance in any form.

I think constructive criticism and acknowledgement comes hand-in-hand. When that happens, I think one would be more optimistic about the feedback, don’t you think?

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Frustrated.

Let’s just put it this way; I haven’t been having a great past few weeks. And it’s due to a BUNCH of stuff happening all at once that makes things become just past borderline overwhelming for me. And then I began to see this same quote repeatedly on my Facebook newsfeed:

 

 

And I’m thinking: sure, one shouldn’t be discouraged just because of that.

But what if that becomes a constant?

And I don’t mean to point this in any particular direction (career, relationship, family etc). I mean this in EVERY WAY and ANY WAY. There’s only so much hard work you can do without being appreciated, before you’re all like:

 

 

Eventually, it gets tiring. It gets mentally exhausting when you always try so hard, and it looks like all your hard work is going down the drain because the other(s) don’t seem to notice at all. They don’t acknowledge your efforts, to the point where you wonder if they even notice how hard you’ve been working.

 

Seriously, for those of you who can continue to tirelessly keep doing your best, unappreciated, I take my hat off to you (if I had been wearing one) and applaud you. (Though some might call that ‘stupidity’.)

Because in more than one aspect, I’ve put in so much effort and have not seen it reciprocated or acknowledged, and let me tell you, it gets so frustrating.

 

 

I mean, for fuck’s sake man. If I’m not what you want then just cut me off, alright?? I’m working my ass out here and for what, if you’re not gonna appreciate that?

 

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