I’m So Fickle-Minded, I Should Be Spanked.


When I’m with you
I’ll make every second count
Cause i miss you
Whenever your not around

~Faber Drive – When I’m With You

It’s true when they say that you don’t appreciate what you’ve got till it’s gone.
Well, not literally in my case, but close enough.
Let me share this piece of news with you, then allow me to emo for a while on that thought.

I got in.

UTAR.
I checked in this morning, and I was accepted.Of course, I was elated. It kinda woke me up from my stupor, and I couldn’t sleep back.
But as I laid down and tried to sleep, reality set in.

This is it.
I’m in.
I’ll be leaving Kuantan in a few weeks.
Bye bye ballet.
Bye bye crazy friends.
Worse of all, bye bye Ashley.

Yes, I may sound a little over dramatic here.
I know it isn’t the end of the world, nor is it permanent.
So give me a moment to be nerdy and say that I kinda understand how Bella feels now when she realised the date of her transformation was looming near.

It was all I ever wanted; pursuing my studies somewhere other than Kuantan.
But now that I’m actually in, it’s like a huge block fell on me, making me wake up and realise that the date is actually not that far away, and that I’d have to leave soon.

And if there was something that would take a while to get used to, it’s the fact that I’m practically saying goodbye to ballet.
Yes, there’s a dance society in UTAR (if it was anything to go by), but I’ve been learning ballet in that studio all my life since I was 6/7. That would definitely take some time to set in.

And then there’s Ashley.
Ashley, Ashley, Ashley.
I know I’m definitely gonna shed some tears (whether in front of her or not) when the time comes.

Mum told me I had several choices if I chose not to go.
But that would be stupid.
I had been waiting for this chance all my life, and to give it up when it’s staring at me in the face?

No.

I will go.
I just prolly need some time to let it all sink in and get my head back on my shoulders.

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