So this is the end.
And for the first time, I won’t pretend and say that everything is fine and that I’ll be alright. I may be alright eventually, but right now, I’m not really ok.
What a way to end it.
I look at love a little differently now; more like I don’t really seem to believe in it anymore. I mean, I don’t have a grudge or hate anyone who’s in love, but personally for me, that’s how I feel. And to be completely honest, I dunno if I’ll ever love again. I mean, he was the one I gave my heart and soul to, and will probably be the last and only one who will have it . And no, I don’t think it’s a temporary ‘fallen-out-of-love-so-I’m-saying-that’ kinda thing.
I guess that’s what happens when someone you’re head over heels with (notice the present tense; because yeah, I still am), just dropped the bomb suddenly. When we’re far from each other, no less.
But if there was one thing I learnt/that came out of this, it’s that my heart is probably harder now, which I think is a good thing for me. Maybe now I wouldn’t give my heart so recklessly to someone, and throw myself in so deep so quickly.
Having said all that though, I never regretted falling in love with him. Because the times I was with him were the happiest of my life. Well, as they say:
Don’t regret that it ever happened; instead be thankful that you were able to experience a love like you did.
And I am thankful. Heartbroken, but thankful. As always, I still believe that everything happens for a reason; and I don’t think I need to be reminded why. As much as it hurts, I shall try to keep my head high. It is not the end of the world. Besides, I have the best frickin mother and sister by my side. <3 <3
Although it was short-lived (only 4 months & 10 days), I will be as positive as I can about things. I will not brood in public and make my friends feel down too, just because I’m feeling horrible; I’ll have plenty of time to do that when I’m alone.
Also, I will not hide this from anyone. I’m not ashamed to have loved like I did. I loved every second of it. It didn’t work out, yes, but I count myself very fortunate to have loved him; or on the contrary, for him to have loved me.
I WILL be ok.. eventually. Besides, at least I’ll still have a dance partner and a good friend.
But I’m not sure if I’ll ever love again.