This was just a really random thought that came to me.
After looking at Lisa’s birthday pictures, I just started thinking about my past birthdays.
It is a very known tradition to ‘make a wish’ before you blow the candles on your birthday cake. And ever since I could remember, I used that time in particular to wish extra hard for the things I wanted: that new phone I had my eye on, for my crush to notice me, for people to stop getting on my case. It was sure to be different every year. Plus it was my birthday, so my wishes had to count for something.
It wasn’t until a few years ago that my wish began to sing a different tune completely, and only recently for me to realise what it was.
Because what do you wish for, when you’ve finally understood that regardless if it’s your birthday or not, you’re not ‘entitled’ to have your wishes have that extra possibility to come true? (Get what I mean?)
About 2-3 years ago on my birthday, when put on the spot of making that traditional wish before blowing out my birthday candles, I felt that it was different than the other many years before.
As I was kneeling/standing in front of the table, cake in front of me and the heat from the candles glaring at my face, my eyes are closed and my hands clasped together as if in prayer, like I always do. There is silence around me as everyone waits for me to finally blow the candles out.
But at that time, my mind is empty; blank.
Sure, there were a few things I could wish for, but they seemed… trivial.
Either that, or I had completely lost belief of this ‘birthday wish’ thingy.
Either way, the first thing that popped into my head after that was so simple, so general, I had no idea why I hadn’t thought about it in the first place.
That year, I just wished to be happy.
And I have continued to wish the same thing right before I blow off my candles for every year since then.
And, wouldn’t you believe it, I HAVE been happy.
Sure, there are the usual ups and downs, but I’ve never been too unhappy for long. Since then, I’ve always just wished to be happy. I didn’t care how or why, just that I’d be happy more than sad.
And I have been. =)