Ever since attending the National Achievers Congress, I feel… different; I shit you not.
Maybe it’s all the talk about taking action and not being afraid of change, but I honestly do feel, FINALLY, that I should really do something about my life. I daresay that what I heard in those 3 days really affected me.
What I was most happy to learn, as described in detail in my previous post, was that there is nothing wrong with putting happiness as your main goal in life. Once I got confirmation of this, I’ve been seeking out ways to make my dreams come true. I can literally feel my attitude changing. Dramatically or not, that is up to the people who know me (and I mean those who know me know me, not those who think they know me; there’s a HUGE difference) to decide.
Also, if I had a no-bullshit attitude then, I think it’s certainly intensified. My tolerance for people who are two-faced and who backstab people have gone waaaayyy lower than it was before; not because I’ve decided to be a bitch or that I’m trying to sound all-knowing and all-good. I am far from good. On the contrary, it’s because I finally know my worth.
For the longest time I have been made to feel like I was a complete idiot. I saw tons of quotes saying something similar to ‘it doesn’t matter if you get it wrong; the important thing is that you try‘. I soon found out that that was a load of bull to some people, because trying just wasn’t good enough. I’ve admitted on more than one occasion that I’m a slow learner. And I ADMITTED IT TO LITERALLY EVERY JOB INTERVIEW I WENT TO. I didn’t want to lie or trick them into thinking that I was someone I’m not, and I wanted to make sure they knew what they were getting with me.
And often, what do they say?
“Oh, it doesn’t matter; all that matters is that you’re willing to learn.“
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that, yet when I take a little longer than others to get something, I get berated for it. If I don’t get berated in person, I get gossiped about behind my back; regardless of how many times I say that I would rather have them give me constructive criticism rather than have them talk about me behind my back about something I’m oblivious about.
But of course, NO.
So I spent most of my life thinking I was some stupid idiot who could never get things right. Even when I managed to come across probably the best boss I could hope to get, I was still doubtful of myself because hey, I wasn’t a permanent staff and didn’t see him as often as I would if I were.
At the NAC was when I realised how much the quote by Albert Einstein rang true:
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
And really, NAC thought me to be braver. Be brave enough to take a different course of action!
I was just reading Life Without Limits by Nick Vujicic last night and it so happens that the topic was on change. (Irony? I think not.) He mentioned how some people, despite being abused and whatnot, chose to stay because it was ‘familiar’ and that they feared the unknown.
And I can definitely vouch for that, because even now I’m living that; which is why I’ve decided that enough is enough.
It is not selfish to want to make myself happy; as long as it isn’t at the expense of others.
And for the life of me I couldn’t remember who said it during NAC, (though I have an inkling that it was JT) but he said that it’s okay to not get it right the first time, which, more often than not, describes me accurately.
In other words, I learnt that it’s okay not to get it. That just because I don’t get it when everyone already has, doesn’t mean I’m dense and stupid, and it doesn’t give others the right to label me so.
That I need to eliminate the people who have no better work to do than to feed off of my gullibility, and whom enjoy putting me down in front of others; because I’ll never get anywhere hanging around people like that.
I am worth more than that.
Yes, life is never fair but I can choose how to best live my own life.
If I’m not looking forward to do something repetitive, then I might as well stop torturing myself and move on to other stuff.
I’m more determined to do what I’m happy to do now, not what makes other people happy. I’ve wasted a good few years trying to make other people happy, only to reap the same, dull feeling inside me. I’m not one of those people who can kiss ass. There is only so much ass-kissing I can do before feeling like a complete douche.
From now onwards everything I do will be for my happiness and my success for the future. Not to make other people happy, not to suck up to higher ranked people because they determine my well -being in the workplace, and definitely not for those who put up a friendly front to me but feed me to the wolves behind my back.
I will no longer allow these people to hold me back from what I could be; from the successful person I know I can be.