I came across an article a few days back entitled Why An Honest Man Will Always Give You a Reason For Ending It. (Phew what a mouthful.)
It made me think, and while I agree, it made me question it too.
To summarize, the article tells about how when a guy breaks up with you, an honest fella will always make sure you know the reason it hadn’t worked out.
He isn’t going to use you and then forget you. He genuinely wanted things to work out, but sometimes you meet a great person who isn’t as compatible as you think.
He’s aware he may be hurting you and does his best to minimize the damage. He doesn’t leave you hurt and alone, wondering why you aren’t “good enough.”
Ok, let’s take a look at this statement. Let’s face it, everyone wants the least possible damage during a breakup. God knows how much it already hurts as it is. But the statement ‘He doesn’t leave you hurt and alone‘ made me question it. We all know it takes a while to get over a breakup. Weeks, months, even years. So if say the girl felt ‘hurt and alone’ throughout that duration, should the boy keep comforting her until then? Being there for her as long as she needs it so she doesn’t feel hurt and alone?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure we would all love someone that caring and understanding. I know I would have.
But for how long should this go on? Does an appropriate ‘timeline’ of sorts exist where it states the length that would be considered okay to be the shoulder to cry on, and when enough is enough?
Try thinking of it in another perspective. As long as the guy ‘doesn’t leave you hurt and alone’ and always cares for you and is there for you, wouldn’t you put hope that there still might be a little chance you both could get back together? (C’mon girls, be honest.) Would that be considered as being led or given false hope then? Would it cause the girl to not quite get over the guy because he’s still being so sweet and caring?
Personally though, the guys I’ve gone through breakups with prefer to cut things off completely after it’s over. And to be honest, I think there’s some good in that, in a way. I tend to be really hard on myself during these hard times, so in my opinion, I realise that I’ve been able to move on more quickly once I’m cut off cold turkey, because then I know that there’s no hope at all of getting back together, so I’m gonna just have to get my shit together or face feeling shitty until I do.
That’s not to say that it all ended badly. I DO have one that I’m still occasionally in touch with, and there’s no hard feelings between us. The breakup hadn’t been easy at all, but the difference from the others was that though he had been a little caring when we broke up, he made it very clear that it was over between us.
I think we need that finality to be able to move on; the guy can be caring after the breakup, but he has to draw the line and make sure the girl is very much aware that well, this is the end of the line as far as being a couple goes.
Whoops got a bit carried away there.
Cutting things off is never easy – or pleasant. All men have fear. But real men accept those fears and then face them. They do what’s right and let their partners know why they think it’s best they go their separate ways.
This, I agree. There’s nothing worse than breaking up and not knowing the reason why. It’s as if you were not even worth telling, and that sucks.
It starts with little things, like letting a woman you’ve shared your bed with for months or years know why you no longer want to share your life with her.
You’re entirely changing her future, and there is nothing she can do about it; her life is in your hands.
The very least you can do is be a decent human being and talk to her, tell her why you think the decision is the best for the both of you. It’ll still hurt her, but it won’t hurt for quite as long.
Quite honestly, yes, I wish I’d have been sat down with and told that. But then again, being cut out cold turkey DOES have its advantages, as I’ve said. Then again, it may just be me. It may just be the fact that past experiences have left me quite bitter.
What is your opinion on the article (or my post)? Comment below. ALL Y’ALL, c’mon now. ;p