Just Words. =3

Dear Ah Koong…

Dear Ah Koong,

I thought that I’ve somewhat come to terms with your absence. However, the emptiness feels most prominent in the house. It doesn’t feel complete. Sometimes, it feels as if you’ve just gone out, and others, as if you’ve gone on holiday somewhere or something. But as the day goes on and you’re still not there, the harsh reality hits. At the dinner table, there is one less table setting. In the living hall, there is one presence missing.

You’re gone.

 

Dear Ah Koong,

We went to Swiss Garden for Poh-Poh’s birthday, thanks to uncle Darren. Even Poh-Poh admits the empty hole that is so significant, in spite of us all having fun. It seems almost cruel to think of a celebration when the love of your life has been gone from this world only a little over a month ago. I bet, and I wouldn’t be surprised to know if Poh-Poh cries in her bed at night, when no one will see. Heck, we all do. But she has been really strong. I know you would’ve been proud of her.

 

Dear Ah Koong,

Remember how I’ve always said that I aspire to have a relationship like you and Poh-Poh? Well, it doesn’t seem right anymore because where before, the both of you were always by the other’s side, Poh-Poh is a lone ranger now. Her soulmate is gone, too soon. Remember how I always told you how lucky you both were to have someone who loved you more than they loved themselves? How, as much as you both were the picture-perfect definition of love in my books, that I envied you both? Well, I never thought I would say this, but…. I think I’ve found mine, Ah Koong. As hard as it is for even me to believe, I think I have finally found someone who will treat me with the love and respect that you have for Poh-Poh – and that is saying something. And yes, you know who it is. I just wish I could’ve shared this good news with you in person. I wish I could have told you in person, that your lesser granddaughter has finally got something right in her life. And I can only hope that you’d have been proud of me; really, honestly, and truly, for once. Quite honestly, the main regret I have is that you never got to see either Ashley or me get married, or have kids. I know you’re at peace in heaven, but I just wished that you would have gone knowing that our lives are taken care of.

 

Dear Ah Koong,

I’m crying, but I bet you already knew that. You were such a simple, sporting and lovable grandfather, and anyone on the face of this earth would’ve been lucky to have you in their lives. I thank God for the honour to have been in yours. We’re happy, yes. And I know that everyone dies. But you have left a permanent hole in me. I have never been prouder to have you as my grandfather, and to show you off to everyone I knew. I know that you know that we all love you, but I’m not quite sure you know exactly how much.

I know I never got to properly say my goodbyes, and trust me when I say that it breaks my heart. But I’ll do it in the best way I know how: through this writing.

May you finally be free of the shackles that was your wheelchair. May you be reunited with uncle Stephen, and talk about the good ol’ days washing your feet in the flush of the toilets. Please watch over us all, and know that you will forever be in our hearts, always.

 

Rest in peace, Ah Koong. I love you so, so, so much. 

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